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Wednesday, September 25, 2019

Phooey on That

     "Phooey on that, I can clean my own teeth."

     Every muscle in my body tensed at the sound of that one word.
 
     Phooey.

     It doesn't sound like much but that word means the live ammunition has come out. Ma D has her back to the wall and no one is pulling her away. But I give her another chance, maybe the hygienist can talk her down - maybe.

 And so began the dental appointment for my MIL, affectionately known as Ma D. I did what works in these situations and it's not the truth. I used to feel bad about that but dementia is an ugly disease to wrestle and I've learned through two different individual's paths that one must guide them through the rapids (so to speak) the quickest way possible.

     And that, I hate to say, doesn't usually involve the truth. Once I felt bad about that but now I realize that stressing them with the truth is often - just that, a whole lot of stress for everyone involved. So I lean on my forte - making up a story.  Stories, I make them up all the time, every day. But, those stories are for other reasons. This story is playing with the footprint of someone's life. I know it but I prefer to think of it as getting from point a to point b, and all with a smile on each of our faces, at least at the end.

     "I'll just take them for a few minutes," the hygienist continues but she's yet to learn who she's up against.

     "No. And where's that dentist, I'm betting they went for lunch. That's happened before you know."

     Maybe it happened before, maybe it didn't. All I know was that it never happened on my watch.

     Ma D isn't smiling and I know that at this point it's time to step in with the story. First off - an assurance that the dentist will take a late lunch and she won't be left waiting. But lunch is on her mind and that comes up again and again - I can deal with that. The refusal to have her partials cleaned, not so much.

     "The dentist has to look at your partials to see if they need repair."

     "Oh."

     And some days it's as easy as that.

     As easy as the new rollater/walker, known as the cart - which has been adopted, much to my surprise, with little fuss or muss. It runs beautifully indoors through store aisles - everywhere. Aside from attempting to return it with the other carts a few times, the last in Walmart - where the shoplifter alert went off as we passed through - Ma D has been running with it like a pro. With the shoplifter alert bleating, she kept on pushing while I turned to go back. Instead, I was waved through by the Walmart greeter without even a check to see if we were actually lifting anything - we weren't. Was it the cart that shrieked innocence or maybe it was Ma D's white hair and smile.

     And so, another excursion ends with dark clouds closing in and Ma D saying that it's time to go home. A year ago - the care home where she lives would never be called home.

     We've come a long way.

     And with dementia you take every win - savour every smile and just keep trucking along.

     It's her life and she's still here and she's still smiling.

     And through it all, I'm counting days to the book that explores the fictional side of dementia - and offers a promise of love. More on Cassie's story in the weeks to follow.

Ryshia
www.ryshiakennie.com

                                                        ...a world you never imagined!

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Thursday, September 19, 2019

Writer Writer - Did you do your job?

Today I received a phone call from a friend. First off I had to race through the house searching for my phone with wet hair and expecting a telemarketer at most, a charitable request at least.

Instead it was a friend. She was in tears.

I was immediately concerned until I heard the reason why. No family members in jeopardy, no catastrophe of any kind. No - she'd read my poem.

..."It's beautiful. I can't stop crying. I'll be reading it again. And I'll probably cry again."...

These comments from a woman who I have never heard cry were some of the best words of praise I'd ever received. I couldn't stop smiling and all because I had her in tears. That wasn't right. The tears should have had me upset. But, the fact that my words touched someone that deeply was ...to say the least - amazing.

Amazing. It's a dull little word. The only thing going for it is three syllables. I know I should have better words for what just happened. Richer words, deeper even. Words that reach into the gut. Wait, I already did that with the poem.

About the poem - it was inspired by my experience with my MIL who has dementia. I submitted it some months ago to the CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation) yearly poetry contest. My fingers are crossed but I know the odds are high. For it's up against talent from across Canada. So whether my poem makes it past the first hurdle and places at all or whether it doesn't - to touch someone like that is what it means to be a writer.

Today, for me, that reaction - was amazing. It reminded me of the reasons I write.  Every poem, book or short story is different but in some way you hope it reaches someone - makes them smile, laugh or even cry. Because if I've engaged someone in some way, then I've done my job.


Ryshia
www.ryshiakennie.com

                                                        ...a world you never imagined!

Don't miss a thing - Sign up for my newsletter The Walkabout!

The Dead Sea, a tourist and a whole other  story!
On Twitter:  @ryshiakennie

Tuesday, September 17, 2019

An Official Take on an Unofficial Holiday


After a relatively bad August, at least as far as  weather was concerned, yesterday was glorious.  30 Celsius or 92 Fahrenheit, either way summer is back - a little window before fall drops the curtain. Today the weather dropped a degree or two but it's still nice and warm.

Beginning yesterday at our house we celebrated the last two days of foreseeable summer - at least as far as weather is concerned.  It’s an in-house holiday that the authorities have never heard of. In fact, I thought it up right after checking my phone late last week and seeing the weather forecast.

Here is day one of the unofficial last days of summer. 





No deadlines, no promotional quirks and no computer file organization - two hours writing related at daybreak doesn't count as a cheat - not quite.  Still I remember when summer meant freedom - hot sun, maybe a dip in the pool and basically a whole lot of fun. It seemed to go on forever when I was a kid.  And, while there's no dip in the pool, there's the promise of margaritas this evening and, before that, maybe a bike ride this afternoon. We'll see, nothing scheduled, just a day of warm sun and fun leisure.
And if a story idea comes out of all of this - bonus. 

Meantime...

Cheers to the last hot day of summer! At least here in the frozen north!


Ryshia
www.ryshiakennie.com

                                                        ...a world you never imagined!

Don't miss a thing - Sign up for my newsletter The Walkabout!

The Dead Sea, a tourist and a whole other  story!
On Twitter:  @ryshiakennie