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Sunday, December 28, 2008

He Cried

I have to admit I have seen very few of the men in my life cry. I've never given it much thought until today. As I struggle with how the hero and heroine in my current story will ever resolve the impasse they are at, it came to me - Jon cries. I know that sounds simplistic but you've got to know Jon. He never cries - ever! This is huge and emotionally binding for the characters.


And then I went through my life and the men who have passed through it or are still in it and through all the heart-wrenching moments I remember few tears. I remember only two events ever and they were a long time ago - my grandfather and than once, my father. And that's it! And both times it was short lived unlike any of my female relatives or friends. Most of the women I know are criers given the right circumstance. But for the men in my life, unbelievably I remember no other tears.

Can that be possible. Do men just not cry? Has our society been that restrictive? Or worse, do they cry but that's why there's a lock on most bathroom doors.

Seriously, is a man that shows emotion to the point of tears, sexy - or just too much?

Ryshia
www.ryshiakennie.com
From the Dust

6 comments:

marciacolette said...

It depends. Once, I dated a guy who cried at the drop of a hat. It was like I had to be the one to "man-up" and that sucked. When it came my turn for a shoulder to cry on, I avoided his like the plague. With my luck, I'd end up consoling that moron. *sigh*

Anyway, if a guy cries around me once or twice, I might feel a little weirded out. After that, the crybaby is on his own.

Ryshia Kennie said...

I'm with you on the drop of the hat crier. But a slight tearing up maybe not a full-blown cry... I don't know having rarely seen it.

Teresa said...

I think to have a complete rounded being (real or fictional) there needs to be that sensitive side to the male character. Yes a man can cry. I like it. But in my mind it isn't the sobbing "can't catch your breath" cry. That's not sexy. It's a single tear, an outlet for that deep emotion that if didn't let go it could turn into an inner turmoil of some type. It's a quiet tear, shed alone or with someone special who knows what is going on. When it is shed though, the person or people who witness it are now bound together in some crazy "crying contract" where it isn't shared further or made fun of, but makes your connection to him much stronger. It takes a tough man to cry in front of others - due to society's notions on that topic. And then on my part - I have always cried myself when a man cries, real or fictional. Something about that just gets me...

Dog_geek said...

I don't think I have ever seen my dad cry. My mom told me that when he fell off the roof a few months ago and broke 10+ bones, and then somehow dragged himself to the front of the house where she was mowing the lawn to get her attention, that was the closest that she had ever seen him come to crying. I've seen a few tears from Mr. Geek over pets that we've had to say goodbye to, but barely more than watery eyes. Nothing like sobbing, which is what I was doing during those times. I'm actually envyous - I hate crying, and wish I had more control over it. But sometimes it just happens.

Ryshia Kennie said...

You're right - sobbing isn't sexy but the single tear... And the crying contract - beautiful and so true.

Ryshia Kennie said...

Dog geek I wish too that I could control the tears - how do men do that?