Tuesday, May 25, 2010

I Quit - Dream or Reality

"If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses."  Henry Ford 

                                                                                                                           Somewhere in Saskatchewan
I’m impatient for many things right now.  Life is changing – veering onto another path and I’m anxious and leery to take that corner.  The corner where the cubicle life is behind me and I'm free of an employer.  But as the time nears I find myself in a different place.  My life is about to change and despite years of dreaming and planning I can only guess at how it will unfold. 

Summer is almost here.  It is the first summer where I will not be under the dictates of a boss and my time will be my own.   Quitting a long-term job is scary no matter how long you’ve planned your exit and I’ve planned since day one.  That first day when I realized that uniform grey and beige walls, layered procedures and repetitious tasks weren’t for me, I made my decision to exit early.  But it seemed through the years, no matter how dedicated I was to the plan, that the time would never come.  Yet like all things it did and now it’s almost here – weeks away. 

                                                                                                                       Nyaungshwe, Burma

I’m impatient for this waiting period to be over and get on with it.  At work I’m in this strange little limbo where I am no longer “them”.  I am the one that’s jumped and ran and not for just another job but with plans of never coming back, a traitor of sorts although my friends are all happy for me.  Although I'm not sure how this will unfold, maybe like Ford's quote, what I want is really not what I need.  But that remains to be seen, I don't think either a life-long passion or personal freedom are elements to be quibbled with - the rest I'm certain will all fall into place.

For now I see this as a chance to devote myself more fully to what I love – writing.  It's a chance to do all sorts of things, ideas are already percolating in my head and the list gets longer daily but for the immediate future the list is more condensed - get in shape after years of sitting at a desk and jamming writing in on the side (more sitting at a desk).  Soon I'll be free to write and not fight for time against other employment.  Yes, I am now a full-time writer.  That and so much more.  I'm finally getting those roller blades out after too long of a break.  I know there will be more chances to travel to foreign destinations with pen in hand.  I could go on but hey - there will be other posts.

                                                                                                                                    Holguin Province, Cuba
It’s almost time - and while I can’t fathom the changes, I’m impatient to begin.  I feel a bit like I did as a kid waiting for the beginning of summer vacation.  Hot summer days that seemed endless with possibility.

What happens when the dream meets reality?  I'll let you know.  Whether it's a horse or a car, a computer or a pen it will all work out.

Have you dreamed of a horse and ended up with a car?   What are you impatient for?

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Teresa said...

Wow!! Oh my goodness...Neil says "Must be nice"! "Good for her. Lucky!" I'm sending this from my work, dreaming of the weekend...and you're dreaming of a much longer weekend.
We wish you all the best...and don't forget us poor working people down here...maybe one day we'll join you too! Although...we have to get through the weekend first...

Ryshia Kennie said...

Thanks guys - your turn to follow your dreams will come sooner than you think. For me - it's starting to become real now - life is certainly changing.